A relationship is nothing more than two people who get together because they like to fuck and like eachother's company*. Beyond that, it's a crap shoot. Until marriage there are no guarantees**. Don't listen to some bitch who calls you a home wrecker because she is too dumb to see her relationship for what it is and imagines herself to be one of the Disney Princesses. Blindsightedness isn't your fault. See your relationships for what they are, never call a woman a home wrecker.
The idea isn't to "go the distance" it's to help each other grow for as long as you're lucky enough to be together. Create one life, from two, greater than the sum of its parts.
And when it's time to separate say thank you and appreciate the opportunity to help someone else grow and be helped yourself.
Don't get romantically invovled with someone who doesn't help. Graciously accept whatever (growth) help you're offered, from anyone, but don't project more on to it than what the other person wants it to be. Don't be afraid to ask, no sooner than one month and no later than two. Accept the answer respectfully. Make sure you love fucking yourself and enjoy your own company.
* A lot of people project romantic, egotistical notions on to the simple fact of enjoying the company of another person. "We're on the same wavelength! We like the same books, movies, brand of grape jelly! He gets me! I can be myself with him!" Get over yourself. You (plural) like to hang out. Being yourself, btw, is up to you and not another person.
**Marriage is not always a gurantee either, obviously. But, it is the public act of an explicit and mutual promise. Respect it.
4 comments:
You raise some interesting points, but you sound a bit like a scorned "other" woman. Let's not forget the physical and moral implications of what you are insinuating in your post.
There are *some* STDs that are not part of a normal Gyno screening for women under 30, such as HPV (which has been shown to increase your risk of cervical cancer). If you were to pass such an STD to a sexual partner who was having unprotected sex with his girlfriend/wife, do you not feel responsible for endangering an innocent person's health?
A kid would be very fortunate to have parents so secure that they chose each other to grow/enjoy each others company/sex, as opposed to a means to bury an insecurity so deep that they themselves are oblivious.
In no way does that post mean to promote unprotected sex.
As far as my scorned status...I personally wouldn't sleep with someone--who was committed to someone else--that I had feelings for. But that's just a personal choice, to avoid being scorned, of course.
That's "interesting" logic.
Wrt STDs, using a condom does not always mean you are 100% protected. Once again, HPV can be transmitted even when a condom has been used. Let's not also forget that most people do not use protection during oral sex.
If your boyfriend had protected sex with a prostitute, would you be upset? Even if there are no feelings involved, it's still betrayal, and you still run the risk of infecting an innocent person with a disease.
@Darrick, Wouldn't you agree that most couples start off together by choice, but then get dragged down into mediocrity over the years? Just the act of raising kids puts an enormous strain on a relationship, nevermind boredom and monotony - the ultimate relationship killers.
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