If I were an eccentric billionaire

I would pay someone to create a product to rival the Kindle, it would be faster, smaller, and have more features...then I would sell it at marginal cost, not making any money (b/c I would already be a billionaire) but not losing much either (other than start up costs).

I would do this to drive Kindle out of the market completely, forcing it to stop producing and then after a while, after Kindle is kaput, I would stop production. Why, do you ask?

To save the collective intellect of mankind, that's why.

Ben Afflick says he's boring, I almost die of shock

In a recent interview with Interview magazine:

On his personality: "What's the most radical twist — or the most surprising thing about myself — is that none of the stuff you read, none of it has anything to do with me, with my life, my work. I'm a very straightforward, pretty boring guy. And that's just the f**king truth. Because who I am, as a person, in my everyday life, wouldn't sell any magazines. And even when I've been in circumstances like relationships ended, where that seemed like high drama, the truth was much more pedestrian when you got right down to it."

Really, Ben Affleck? What's that I read, you're like vanilla bean ice cream, topped with vanilla sauce with a side of vanilla wafer? And You're not out secretly doing daredevil stunts on the weekends and cheating on your wife? You're a family man? I never would have thought you would be the MOST AVERAGE GUY OF ALL TIME, you know considering that you're married to one of THE MOST BORING LOOKING WOMEN of all time. Hey, don't get me wrong, she's looked hot in the past in different roles, but the mom jeans and scrunchies haven't come off since her first pregnancy.

On the definition of intelligence and the extent of equality

So, I have a midterm in an hour and a half and instead of thoroughly studying I'm writing emails:

You know, I’ve spent a portion of my life philosophizing on what it means to be “smart” and what the true definition of intelligence is, being that most of us find something that we’re really interested in and then out of our interest become proficient in our knowledge of it, and if that thing is highly valued then our proficiency is deemed intelligence…but there are many things to be interested in and therefore many things to be intelligent about, and its value is somewhat arbitrary. So because someone may like classical literature and that is more highly valued than say, the knowledge of car mechanics, the literature buff is considered smarter than the mechanic, which expresses an arbitrary value to a certain degree. So, is there a base that you can use to get a universal standard…I don’t know. But, in an a priori sense (as opposed to empirically testing it) we all have this idea of intelligence inside of ourselves and with regards to other people. I never liked being pointed out for anything that was an implication of being better than other people, whether a teacher was saying I was smart or a friend was saying I was pretty; I’m not really comfortable being deemed worthy based on subjective values.

But what I do know is that some people are smarter than others. Some people are just better at navigating through life – and the reasons for that are variegated. I just read a short story by Sam Clemens, where he imagines a dispute b/n different kinds of money inside of a money box in a bank. They are all arguing about who is better based on their value, and of course the copper coin, being the smallest value -- and brown -- gets the worst of it. They use the constitution and its declaration of equality to bolster their arguments. So the money pieces start beating each other up and causing a commotion, and their case ends up in court. The judge rules that each piece of money regardless of its denomination potentially earns the same rate of interest in savings, i.e. 5% and based on that they are all equal. He says they are all equal based on what they are, not who they pretend to be. And he points out that our constitution does not say that men are created inherently equal, as in looks, intelligence, etc…but that for what each of us is, we all have an equal opportunity to be the best that we can be without being discriminated against or thought of as less than anyone else. This of course is on the theory of equality rather than its practice and I think that was his point.
****************Later that day**************

I’ve given up on defining intelligence and I reject the way people use the word as if in and of itself it denotes a standard store of value. I think living well is above the notion of intelligence and I think that should be the goal anyway. And I think that living well has to start with knowing yourself.

Paris...the woman of light

So, I'm kind of embarassed that I know this, but in several interviews past I've cringed to hear Paris Hilton say that every generation needs an iconic blond and that she is ours. She also likes to reference Marilyn Monre when making this statement.

I'd like to take a minute to compare the men who have "fallen in love" with Paris and the men who have fallen in love with Marilyn.

Paris:

Nick Carter -- boyband member

Rick Salomon -- professional sleeze ball

Derek Whibley -- singer of a shitty teen rock band
Simon Rex -- MTV VJ of the mid ninties

Joe Francis -- owner of girl's gone wild franchise

And now -- Doug Reinhardt -- cameo appearance in reality TV show, "The Hills"

Marilyn:

Joe MiMaggio -- one of the most famous and beloved baseball players of all time

Arthur Miller -- one of the most famous and beloved playwrights of all time

John F. Kennedy -- one of the most famous and beloved leaders of the free world.

While I don't condone judging a woman's worth based on the men in her life, I think in this case it's a barometer worth 1,000 words.

Paris, you are no Marilyn. What you are is a fascinating anomaly. Trailer Park Trash who happened to have been born an heiress.

Last Wednesday Gchating at work

sam: tell me swanson
me: So, you know how my cousin is living with me right now...sharing my bedroom and my bed
sam: talk slowly
me: why does every guy think that's hot somehow? we're cousins!
sam: talk even slower now
me: LOL you sicko
sam: I am sending this chat record to friends
me: you would get along very well with my best guy friend who lives in san fran
sam: names will be changed to protect the innnocent
me: this story is going to disappoint you although I will throw you a bone
sam: ok go ahead
me: sometimes at night in her sleep
sam: yes..yes....
me: she cuddles up close to me...and then I push her away and tell her to move over
sam: mmmphh that's enough for at least the next week thanks
me: She did call my breasts supple the other day, I don't know why
sam: unzipping pants