Tuesday, January 27, 2009

It's the Celebrity Retard Game!


Starring this evening will be Anne Hathaway, Frank Langella, and Robert Downey Jr. Below is an excerpt from a Newsweek interview called the "oscar roundtable". I'm guessing these are the actors nominated for Oscars this year. Check out Hathaway.

Anne, what about you? Do you Google yourself?
HATHAWAY: No.

LANGELLA: It's not a good idea. It can be painful and it can be self-aggrandizing.

HAWKINS: What do they say about don't believe any of it?

DOWNEY: Oh, I love all that s–––, personally. Sorry. I just love it. Because it's a hoot. Some people overstate their support, like they know you. Other people are busy doing something else and just want to go on this chat site and say some despicable character assassination, which I honestly think they kind of nailed it. I do have that shortcoming. It's really fun.

Later on that day...

HATHAWAY: OK, I have a confession. I lied before when you asked if I Googled myself. I do. I'm embarrassed by it because I know how terrible it is.

DOWNEY: Wait a minute, should I feel s–––ty that I Google myself?

HATHAWAY: You should feel s–––ty about other things, Robert. For a while, it cracked me up. I found a ton of humor in it. But recently it's changed. There's a big difference now where information is being reported as news. And I'm very uncomfortable with that. And what you were saying, Brad, and God knows you deal with it worse than anyone, the idea that you blink your eyes and it's all over the Internet. It's a strange thing to be part of.

Is Anne (Seinfeld's Doppelganger) Hathaway really telling Robert Downey Jr. that he should feel like shit? Is she really taking a place of (even if it's comic sarcasm) authority over someone whose raw talent shines through even when he's out of his mind fucked up on blow? I mean really? This wierd looking upstart thinks she has the right to joke around with Robert Downey Jr. by insulting him? This is from the same woman whose resume includes "The Princess Diaries" and going out with a complete tool for like five years without realizing it. I'm not even going to get in to the fact that people who are nominated for Oscars are often the winners of nothing more than a popularity contest and that films nominated for oscars are so predictable at this point that a snooze fest like "Benjamin Button" made the cut...but how difficult is it to act like you're mad at the world (e.g. "Rachel Getting Married"). That's probably the easiest emotion to convey. I do have to give her a Captain Obvious award for telling us that being a celebrity with the media so readily accessible through the internet is strange. I mean I figured getting followed around all day long by douche bags with a camera would feel totally normal. oh, and she's a liar.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Urban dic words of the day




1.bar laugh
1. The insipid laugh emitted by half drunk people at a singles bar when they are responding to the wit, wisdom and humor of other half drunk people hoping to score. sounds like - ha, ha, (slight pause) ha, ha, ha (intonation on the middle ha) 2. everyday use of a flirtatious laugh indicating possible interest in a member of the opposite sex, most frequently used by young women
I can't believe all the bar laughs I heard at that party. Were all the women drunk, or were they coming on to President Clinton?


2.Overchicked
When a not-so-good-looking guy lands a chick thats way more attractive than he is.
Tom is 5'04, overweight and severly unattractive. How Tom wound up with Jeni, who is 5'07, slender and drop dead gorgeous is a mystery. He definitely overchicked on this hook up.

Gwyneth Paltrow might be retarded

An addition of celebrity idiot follows:

Okay, so check it out, Gwyneth Paltrow has her own website called, GOOP http://goop.com/signup.html. It is essentially a dossier on everything that is Gwyneth's "life" or rather, manufactured image. Information is relayed through "newsletters", which interested people can sign up to recieve as they are published.

Recently she penned a newsletter about her post holiday diet to lose "those few pounds of excess", and of course she recomends that her devoted readers follow it themselves with the consultaiton of a doctor. What this "diet" is is little better than the lemonade and cayenne pepper concotion that us plebians use to "detoxify", i.e. try not to eat for a period of time. Gwyneth's version is much classier of course because she's just so damn sophisticated.

It is, essentially, a week long liquid only diet. She closes this little gem of literary gold with, "I will be suffering along with you to kick-start my year a bit lighter. Good luck to us all!"

All right, this is my thing...why in the threewisemen-jesus-fuck is Gwyneth Paltrow trying to detox to lose weight? She has the trans twelve-year-old boy figure every woman in Hollywood covets. And why would she think that this is a good, or feasible practice to pass on to anyone? It might be because she's a little...retarded.