From One Blog To Another

A friend of mine sent me a cool note from the blogosphere that I feel compelled to quote and share a link to. I have no idea who wrote it originally, or else I would sing his praises. For now it'll have to be sufficient to say that I did not write it. And I hope you enjoy.

Here's my favorite part: Date a girl who doesn’t read because the girl who reads knows the importance of plot. She can trace out the demarcations of a prologue and the sharp ridges of a climax. She feels them in her skin. The girl who reads will be patient with an intermission and expedite a denouement. But of all things, the girl who reads knows most the ineluctable significance of an end. She is comfortable with them. She has bid farewell to a thousand heroes with only a twinge of sadness.

Don’t date a girl who reads because girls who read are the storytellers. You with the Joyce, you with the Nabokov, you with the Woolf. You there in the library, on the platform of the metro, you in the corner of the café, you in the window of your room. You, who make my life so god damned difficult. The girl who reads has spun out the account of her life and it is bursting with meaning. She insists that her narratives are rich, her supporting cast colorful, and her typeface bold. You, the girl who reads, make me want to be everything that I am not. But I am weak and I will fail you, because you have dreamed, properly, of someone who is better than I am. You will not accept the life that I told of at the beginning of this piece. You will accept nothing less than passion, and perfection, and a life worthy of being storied. So out with you, girl who reads. Take the next southbound train and take your Hemingway with you. I hate you. I really, really, really hate you.

And this is the whole thing.

The Truth Is Freeing

I actually don't know how to start this. I was going to wait until I was gone or on some beach in some tropical location to write this post. After all, it's a lot easier to write about your next move when the success of which has already come to fruition. But today is as good a day as any.


I started this blog on the insistence of a friend of mine three years ago. The suggestion planted the seed. And then another friend started his own travel blog and I saw how easy it really was. This friend of mine had lived in New York for about a year and then decided to take some of the bundles of money he made working in finance on the road. He was going to travel for a year. When he left he said that he'd come back to live in NYC--he never did. We actually had a bit of a falling out before he left. I accused him of leaving because NYC just wasn't for him (he's from LA), which he denied. "It's okay," I said, "You can admit it if you don't like it." He wouldn't. And of course he was reacting to my haughty attitude just underneath the surface of my accusations. "It's not for you...but it's for ME! hahahaha." 


The first post I ever intended to write was going to be called "Not Flaking Out" in direct response to his leaving. That wasn't the first post I wrote. The first was a sort of literary ode to NYC that is now buried under 150 other posts. Five years later...my goodness...I'm going to go ahead and say that New York is not for me anymore. And what's sort of ironic is that on my way out, I'm not sure it ever was, which is probably why I was so quick to accuse my friend of the thing I might have been in denial of about myself.


I've written some posts trying to explain what New York is like for the uninitiated and they're usually in favor of the place. Rationalization...is a useful thing. Of course my first instinct upon leaving is to write something about how much this place sucks and why it sucks and blah blah blah ad nauseum. I'm not going to do that.


What I am going to say is that I've learned more about myself than I would have if I'd just stayed in my home town wondering what it was like here. And I have every asshole I met along the way to thank for that. Every corrupted, hard, selfish, sad person.  (not saying everyone is this way, but most who crossed my path were) The people I met...well maybe they weren't for me either. I wondered often at those who seemed happy here and kept on thinking it was going to get better. That one day, any day now, I'd wake up and feel like things had fallen into place and feel content and happy. That day did not come. I never stopped missing my friends from home and I never stopped wishing the people I'd met here were more like them. I never got used to how much time commuting eats up here. Once I figured out that it's the fundamental problem in this city...I never got over it. I even tried to buy a bike, but let me tell you, I am not a biker. If you visit you'll see people riding in Brooklyn looking as serene as a monk in a monastery.  But, it's work and in the summer it's hot and an inefficient way to exercise on top of that. I guess for those people, New York suits them.


If you have tons of energy, New York will suit you. If you're willing to put in a great effort to build your career and don't mind searching every nook and cranny for friends (if yours aren't already living here) even after the first 1,000 people you met didn't really fit, New York will suit you. As it will if you don't need people to fit. If you have a shit ton of money, New York will suit you. If you come from a place where minds are small and conservative, New York might suit you. Though they might be militant and pretentious about their liberal ideals, you'll find people here who are more accepting of alternative lifestyles, as long as your alternative matches theirs. If you have a job that affords you the opportunity to have time and money to join clubs and classes and have real hobbies, New York will suit you. If you enjoy being the center of attention or trying to make yourself the center of attention, you have a limitless stage to perform on. If you like smoke and mirrors, or don't mind people coming in and out of your life randomly according to their want, will, or too busy schedule, you're good to go.


The truth is I was in none of those circumstances, nor am I that type of person. I'm a homebody. I like to read a book and be cozy. Sure, I like to go out, but I'm not 22 anymore. Getting "wasted" just kind of ceased to be a weekend goal like it is here for a lot of wayward souls (regardless of age). Yes, I want to be healthy and exercise, but Lord I don't want to sweat through a 20 minute walk to get to the gym. Let me drive there in AC, before spin class kills me.  Yes, I like to try new recipes and dabble in the kitchen, but not when the oven was born before my parents were. Not when I have to sweep off mouse droppings from the counter before I begin. Yeah, I like having a beer in a good spot, but not when my only choices are places filled with anti-social cliques or full-on meat markets. I could make this paragraph its own post, but I'll refrain.


I am very lucky. Very very blessed. Because for every person here who thought I was a permanent fixture (an impression I take full responsibility for giving) and put me in the background of their life, there is someone in an awesome place who wants me in the foreground. I'm extremely lucky that I started a freelance writing career here that gives me freedom and mobility in my choice of location. I am very lucky the connections and experience I got here are enough to continue on in another place, while still keeping professional ties here open. 


I guess I'm just damned lucky. And if it took five years of struggle to get to that conclusion, well then, it was worth it. 


What will I do now? Well, I was thinking about traveling for a year. : ) And you know, living the dream.

You Might Want To Get Used To This

"In June, virtually all the job growth came from private companies, which added 57,000 jobs, a striking retrenchment from the average of more than 200,000 jobs a month between February and April. The largest gains came from health care and leisure and hospitality, while manufacturing, which lost jobs in May, was able to add just 6,000 slots in June."  -- New York Times


I should be doing my job right now. But, this subject is more fun. Fun, you say? How can it be fun to discuss job loss, America's tanking economy and the dissolution of the middle class? To be totally frank, I'm not out of work. Nor am I Mr. Obama. To me, these statistics are abstract, and there's no reason why they shouldn't be for you too. 


Life is a game of opportunity mixed with preparedness. Or what some like to call "luck." Your luck is dependent on your work ethic, your planning and the pursuit of your life, each and every day. When we sink into the couch and assume our lot is safe, we set ourselves up for unpreparedness. And opportunities pass us by without us knowing. And we have no luck. 


Just the highlighted quote above can help you prepare for the future. You know the tides are changing, have been changing for some time. Do you know why hospitality is on the rise and manufacturing is on the decline? This isn't a temporary situation brought on by the after effects of a recession. This is a direct result, in my opinion, of a change in technology, a change from the age of industry to the age of information. 


So, little babies, do not expect that one day manufacturing jobs will come back. Or that the one you have now is safe. Get richer, get educated, invest your time and money and thought into your future and your goals. Don't be afraid to move to a new place. Don't be scared to change careers. Just keep pursuing your life, day after day. And for God Sakes, diversify.