Shortcaked

This has to do with the culture of NYC and why people who don't live here, or just moved recently, are so very, very out of the loop of understanding. That isn't a judgement, it's just a fact.

When I first moved here people told me that "It takes living in New York for a year, to be prepared to live in New York." Cute, right? I'm not saying my case is typical, but it took me at least two, if not three years to acculturate. I may not be done yet.

Okay, the plain fact is New Yorker's aren't "rude". They aren't without morals, or ethics or values. They just don't have time to give a fuck about other people, except for the few that really make an impression. Many fresh off the boat here (in their first year), find it extremely difficult to wrap their head around this.

But, here's why what I just said makes perfect sense. You have a city of 8 million people. Among those 8 million you have the best and the brightest. The people on top of the food chain, the most beautiful, ivy league educated, ambitious people are here. You have an extremely high level of competition because all of us hanging out in the middle of the food chain see the top and desperately want to be there. And our perverse American ideals tell us it's possible, so you have an ego surge big time. By ego surge I mean you exhibit a certain amount of self-centered behavior.

Next, "the city that never sleeps", actually does. In fact, we probably sleep more than most people in most places. We just happen to stay up later. Because of this businesses don't open until later in the morning, office hours don't really get started until 10, even 11, and if we can manage it, we still leave at 5. Ever heard of "summer Fridays?" That's a business that allows their employees to have a half day, or whole day, off every Friday from Memorial Day to Labor Day. Why? So that people can get an early start on their weekends up state and in the Hamptons. These facts are a big reason why New Yorkers are so "busy" and have to have everything done yesterday. We sleep more, we work less than you and are pretty much always behind schedule. Ever get into work at 10 instead of 8 and for some reason the entire rest of the day is less productive? That's us, every day. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people in New York who work 12 hour days, just not as many as you'd think.

Also a note on transportation. Taxis and trains force commutes to be at least three times as long as driving in one's own car in a sparsley populated area with little traffic. When you're on the train, you're not working.


Finally, "the women come and go, talking of Michelangelo". Because we're social, a community of heavy drinkers and smokers (to mitigate the stress of being so busy), we meet and greet about a billion people everywhere we go. We are constantly forced to interact. And yes, you become jaded. Anyone would when there's a new face around the corner every second. There are endless ways to make friends, meet people and chat about the meaning of it all. If you were fishing in a stream with endless supplies of fish, you'd throw back any that were damaged, and you'd be a hell of a lot pickier with the ones who weren't. This is the reson for ego surge number two. I don't care how awesome people thought you were in your hometown, at some point here you are going to get thrown back. After it happens several times, you don't have the capacity to sympathize with others who are still feeling sorry for themselves, or someone else, about it.

So many people come here with a sunny disposition, so convinced that they're going to change New York to suit their idea of how things should be. They'll be the ones who take it by storm. And it's a culture shock in and of itself when they finally realize, they're not. You adapt, or you leave.


It is beyond frustrating to try and explain to a newbie how it is, only to have them resent you for it. But it's entertaining to see them step in the shit for not taking your advice because that was you once upon a time.

Those of us who stuck it out, those of us who've been thrown back, those of us who love it because of the constant stimulation in spite of its attitude, we just don't have to time to give a fuck about people, but the few who really make an impression. Fact.

As I put it to a good friend today regarding another friend, "I don't have time to deal with your strawberrry shortcake view of the way things should be. I just don't care."