Monday, March 16, 2009

On the definition of intelligence and the extent of equality


So, I have a midterm in an hour and a half and instead of thoroughly studying I'm writing emails:

You know, I’ve spent a portion of my life philosophizing on what it means to be “smart” and what the true definition of intelligence is, being that most of us find something that we’re really interested in and then out of our interest become proficient in our knowledge of it, and if that thing is highly valued then our proficiency is deemed intelligence…but there are many things to be interested in and therefore many things to be intelligent about, and its value is somewhat arbitrary. So because someone may like classical literature and that is more highly valued than say, the knowledge of car mechanics, the literature buff is considered smarter than the mechanic, which expresses an arbitrary value to a certain degree. So, is there a base that you can use to get a universal standard…I don’t know. But, in an a priori sense (as opposed to empirically testing it) we all have this idea of intelligence inside of ourselves and with regards to other people. I never liked being pointed out for anything that was an implication of being better than other people, whether a teacher was saying I was smart or a friend was saying I was pretty; I’m not really comfortable being deemed worthy based on subjective values.

But what I do know is that some people are smarter than others. Some people are just better at navigating through life – and the reasons for that are variegated. I just read a short story by Sam Clemens, where he imagines a dispute b/n different kinds of money inside of a money box in a bank. They are all arguing about who is better based on their value, and of course the copper coin, being the smallest value -- and brown -- gets the worst of it. They use the constitution and its declaration of equality to bolster their arguments. So the money pieces start beating each other up and causing a commotion, and their case ends up in court. The judge rules that each piece of money regardless of its denomination potentially earns the same rate of interest in savings, i.e. 5% and based on that they are all equal. He says they are all equal based on what they are, not who they pretend to be. And he points out that our constitution does not say that men are created inherently equal, as in looks, intelligence, etc…but that for what each of us is, we all have an equal opportunity to be the best that we can be without being discriminated against or thought of as less than anyone else. This of course is on the theory of equality rather than its practice and I think that was his point.
****************Later that day**************

I’ve given up on defining intelligence and I reject the way people use the word as if in and of itself it denotes a standard store of value. I think living well is above the notion of intelligence and I think that should be the goal anyway. And I think that living well has to start with knowing yourself.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Paris...the woman of light


So, I'm kind of embarassed that I know this, but in several interviews past I've cringed to hear Paris Hilton say that every generation needs an iconic blond and that she is ours. She also likes to reference Marilyn Monre when making this statement.

I'd like to take a minute to compare the men who have "fallen in love" with Paris and the men who have fallen in love with Marilyn.

Paris:
Nick Carter -- boyband member
Rick Salomon -- professional sleeze ball
Derek Whibley -- singer of a shitty teen rock band
Simon Rex -- MTV VJ of the mid ninties
Joe Francis -- owner of girl's gone wild franchise
And now -- Doug Reinhardt -- cameo appearance in reality TV show, "The Hills"

Marilyn:
Joe MiMaggio -- one of the most famous and beloved baseball players of all time
Arthur Miller -- one of the most famous and beloved playwrights of all time
John F. Kennedy -- one of the most famous and beloved leaders of the free world.

While I don't condone judging a woman's worth based on the men in her life, I think in this case it's a barometer worth 1,000 words.

Paris, you are no Marilyn. What you are is a fascinating anomaly. Trailer Park Trash who happened to have been born an heiress.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Last Wednesday Gchating at work

sam: tell me swanson
me: So, you know how my cousin is living with me right now...sharing my bedroom and my bed
sam: talk slowly
me: why does every guy think that's hot somehow? we're cousins!
sam: talk even slower now
me: LOL you sicko
sam: I am sending this chat record to friends
me: you would get along very well with my best guy friend who lives in san fran
sam: names will be changed to protect the innnocent
me: this story is going to disappoint you although I will throw you a bone
sam: ok go ahead
me: sometimes at night in her sleep
sam: yes..yes....
me: she cuddles up close to me...and then I push her away and tell her to move over
sam: mmmphh that's enough for at least the next week thanks
me: She did call my breasts supple the other day, I don't know why
sam: unzipping pants

Monday, February 2, 2009

Recessionista

Beth: Did you hear what happened to Peanut Butter!?
me: no
Beth: You can't have it!
me: Why?
Beth: Salmonella
me: (eye roll) Whatever, everything has something in it that can kill you. I'm not going to stop eating peanut butter.
Beth: I know, me neither. I just bought a new jar and I DO NOT have that kind of money to throw away.

Idle Thoughts


I am so bored. It's 2:17, I don't have anywhere to be until 4:10 and I don't think I'm going to make it sitting in one spot without moving for another two hours.

American Apparel is horrible. I'd like to know why there is one on every street corner in Manhattan. WHAT. THE. FUCK. IS. THAT. ABOUT? How are they able to sell enough stone washed glitter unitards to stay in business? And why do all of their promotional photos make me feel seedy and unclean? (Where do they pick up their "real" looking models...it must on the way to the all night dance studio after an 18 hour heroin binge. It's like looking at the before shots of an amateur porn movie.)

What is a hipster, in ten words or less?

I would love to meet someone who admits to being a hipster, but isn't. A stark contrast to those in denial who are.

I bet you could make a coffe table book and sell it at Urban Outfitters called, "Self Proclaimed Hipsters -- trail blazers of a generation, boldly following in the footsteps of those before them." I don't even know what that means, but I think it sounds cool --the best part is, so will everyone else. It is now 2:29.

I was out this weekend and two of my friends made fun of my hat. It's a little rastafari inspired, sure. But I fucking love that hat.

Bon Chon chicken in New York. You will not be diasppointed.

Two years ago my part time lover stole a pin I had that said, "fuck literature" on it. I would like that back. Sometimes when I get mad at him I ask for it back. Then, when he offers it to me, I refuse to take it.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

It's the Celebrity Retard Game!


Starring this evening will be Anne Hathaway, Frank Langella, and Robert Downey Jr. Below is an excerpt from a Newsweek interview called the "oscar roundtable". I'm guessing these are the actors nominated for Oscars this year. Check out Hathaway.

Anne, what about you? Do you Google yourself?
HATHAWAY: No.

LANGELLA: It's not a good idea. It can be painful and it can be self-aggrandizing.

HAWKINS: What do they say about don't believe any of it?

DOWNEY: Oh, I love all that s–––, personally. Sorry. I just love it. Because it's a hoot. Some people overstate their support, like they know you. Other people are busy doing something else and just want to go on this chat site and say some despicable character assassination, which I honestly think they kind of nailed it. I do have that shortcoming. It's really fun.

Later on that day...

HATHAWAY: OK, I have a confession. I lied before when you asked if I Googled myself. I do. I'm embarrassed by it because I know how terrible it is.

DOWNEY: Wait a minute, should I feel s–––ty that I Google myself?

HATHAWAY: You should feel s–––ty about other things, Robert. For a while, it cracked me up. I found a ton of humor in it. But recently it's changed. There's a big difference now where information is being reported as news. And I'm very uncomfortable with that. And what you were saying, Brad, and God knows you deal with it worse than anyone, the idea that you blink your eyes and it's all over the Internet. It's a strange thing to be part of.

Is Anne (Seinfeld's Doppelganger) Hathaway really telling Robert Downey Jr. that he should feel like shit? Is she really taking a place of (even if it's comic sarcasm) authority over someone whose raw talent shines through even when he's out of his mind fucked up on blow? I mean really? This wierd looking upstart thinks she has the right to joke around with Robert Downey Jr. by insulting him? This is from the same woman whose resume includes "The Princess Diaries" and going out with a complete tool for like five years without realizing it. I'm not even going to get in to the fact that people who are nominated for Oscars are often the winners of nothing more than a popularity contest and that films nominated for oscars are so predictable at this point that a snooze fest like "Benjamin Button" made the cut...but how difficult is it to act like you're mad at the world (e.g. "Rachel Getting Married"). That's probably the easiest emotion to convey. I do have to give her a Captain Obvious award for telling us that being a celebrity with the media so readily accessible through the internet is strange. I mean I figured getting followed around all day long by douche bags with a camera would feel totally normal. oh, and she's a liar.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Urban dic words of the day




1.bar laugh
1. The insipid laugh emitted by half drunk people at a singles bar when they are responding to the wit, wisdom and humor of other half drunk people hoping to score. sounds like - ha, ha, (slight pause) ha, ha, ha (intonation on the middle ha) 2. everyday use of a flirtatious laugh indicating possible interest in a member of the opposite sex, most frequently used by young women
I can't believe all the bar laughs I heard at that party. Were all the women drunk, or were they coming on to President Clinton?


2.Overchicked
When a not-so-good-looking guy lands a chick thats way more attractive than he is.
Tom is 5'04, overweight and severly unattractive. How Tom wound up with Jeni, who is 5'07, slender and drop dead gorgeous is a mystery. He definitely overchicked on this hook up.