Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Two Bothersome Thingys:
1.) I'm starting to have a real problem with young people who want to change the world and are convinced they can. I know, it sounds despicable. And it probably is. After all there have been many young people in world history who, quite literally, did change the world. Where would society be without those willing to fight for justice? Ruled by autocratic despots? I don't know, and neither do you, frankly. My problem isn't with noble pursuits, it's that those who claim to have them have become such a type; a really boring, predicatble type, the whole lot of them.
They Love rummage sales and flee markets, they like things to look old as if this somehow proves they're one of the people. They buy weed and smoke it with pride as if it's a badge of their good, free spirited intentions. They love to make sacrifices of comfort to prove to themselves and those around them they don't need anything modern, everything they need can be grown on a farm or woven by Quakers. And let's not forget their vegetarian, organic diet. Because nothing says I care about the disadvantaged people more than exercising the luxury of getting to pick what you eat.
And it seems, more often than not, that they're completely out of touch with what it is to actually live off of land, and off of the grid, although their pretentious fantasies would have them believing in some small way, they do. Shopping exclusively at Beacon's Closet and Whole Foods makes a faker, not a world shaker. The thing about it that is the most bothersome is that these people get their entire sense of self from a borrowed, disingenuous persona because they were too unoriginal to pursue their cause as themselves. And that generally gives them an attitude problem that comes out when they don't get their way or have been hitting the moonshine too hard.
2.) People who've quit smoking and now profess to abhor the smell of smoke. People who used to smoke but think of themselves as being better than those who still do. People who once lit up and walk by smokers with their hands flailing as if to shoo away the smoke, but really it's more of a gesture to show their disapproval. Those people are just pissed because they remember the calm, soothing effect of the sweet nicotine coursing through their veins. They have to pretend they think smoking is gross because deep down they know it's delicious and if they admitted that to themselves, they'd start smoking again. Don't hate on people who still smoke just because you made your life suck a little bit more by quitting. Hate on yourself for ever having lit up in the first place.
They Love rummage sales and flee markets, they like things to look old as if this somehow proves they're one of the people. They buy weed and smoke it with pride as if it's a badge of their good, free spirited intentions. They love to make sacrifices of comfort to prove to themselves and those around them they don't need anything modern, everything they need can be grown on a farm or woven by Quakers. And let's not forget their vegetarian, organic diet. Because nothing says I care about the disadvantaged people more than exercising the luxury of getting to pick what you eat.
And it seems, more often than not, that they're completely out of touch with what it is to actually live off of land, and off of the grid, although their pretentious fantasies would have them believing in some small way, they do. Shopping exclusively at Beacon's Closet and Whole Foods makes a faker, not a world shaker. The thing about it that is the most bothersome is that these people get their entire sense of self from a borrowed, disingenuous persona because they were too unoriginal to pursue their cause as themselves. And that generally gives them an attitude problem that comes out when they don't get their way or have been hitting the moonshine too hard.
2.) People who've quit smoking and now profess to abhor the smell of smoke. People who used to smoke but think of themselves as being better than those who still do. People who once lit up and walk by smokers with their hands flailing as if to shoo away the smoke, but really it's more of a gesture to show their disapproval. Those people are just pissed because they remember the calm, soothing effect of the sweet nicotine coursing through their veins. They have to pretend they think smoking is gross because deep down they know it's delicious and if they admitted that to themselves, they'd start smoking again. Don't hate on people who still smoke just because you made your life suck a little bit more by quitting. Hate on yourself for ever having lit up in the first place.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Chatty Kathys and their political incorrectiude
Benjamin: OMG I had to hang out with 2 FTM's and their GF's this weekend.
me: SHUT UP tell me all about the FTMS and their GFS
Benjamin: 12 people and I was the only one with a real penis.
me: Fucking, unbelivable
me: I never notice FTMs here, but I notice MTFs, you can always tell by their hands, if nothing else.
Benjamin: "Johnny" and "Jackson"
Yeah MTF prob stand out more
They were both sort of chubby
me: I want to be an FTM for halloween...and be named "Fido"
Benjamin: Hahah
______________________
me: It's weird because it's like men are forced to be metro here, and like when you talk to them you can tell there is a man wanting to come out, but they've been beaten down and they're all just a bunch of pussies. I blame...the women's lib movement of the seventies and sex and the city.
Benjamin: Hahhahahaha (shhhhh) I totally agree
me: Well, look I'm glad I can vote, and I've seen every episode of SATC thirty times, and loved it. But that doesn't mean there aren't backlashes.
I feel like men don't know how to behave these days.
they're all mixed up.
Benjamin: We totally are
me: yeah...
I want a guy with good hygiene, who is not feminine in his behavior, at all.
I don't want him to cook, I don't want him to have potted plants at home, I don't give a fuck how he dresses as long as it's clean. And I want him to be chill and honest. But loyal...does that go against the very fiber of wanting a manly man?
Benjamin: I'm not sure.
______________________________
Benjamin: Now I understand why my Dad is so tight lipped when it comes to politics
me: My Dad won't get into it either
my mom is clueless.
Benjamin: M____ just asked for some advice about how to handle a situation at work and i told her to think with the penis, not the ovaries.
me: Hahaha
I guess in her case, she has to think with the clitoris.
Benjamin: Yeah
Anyways now I get what my dad was silently saying
Either side sucks
me: right either side does suck
You either have a bunch of pansies, with no dicks.
or you have a bunch of douches with tiny dicks, trying to prove they've got big dicks.
We just need a nice, medium sized dick.
Benjamin: Yes, hahah a nice medium dick LOL.
me: Man, I was just going to draw you a picture of dicks of different sizes, but then I remembered I'm at work.
It would have been funny.
Benjamin: SO funny. I don't know what I would do if I walked by a female coworkers desk and she was drawing dicks.
Me: probably die laughing
Benjamin: I would probably drop to one knee and propose.
___________________________
me: I'm trying to quit smoking.
Benjamin: I didn't make you start smoking don't cast you anger at yourself onto me.
me: If I wasn't a smoker, I wouldn't have met half of the cool people I have, and that's the fuckin' truth everyone knows the cool kids are outside smoking.
me: Well, I'm pretty determined when I make a decision. so, I think I'll be okay. I never wanted to quit before, really, but I've been smoking for long enough, it's served it's purpose and like you said, now it has none. I figure the hard thing will not be to light up while out drinking. will be not to, I always split my infinitives for some reaosn.
Benjamin: I've heard people say that. Maybe don't drink either?
me: Oh, absolutely not
that is not even, no.
I have to drink.
I have been a virtual recluse for the last year.
It is time to drink.
Maybe, if I buy a pack, I'll make Beth take it away from me at the end of the night. yeah
Benjamin: OK OK jeez
me: SHUT UP tell me all about the FTMS and their GFS
Benjamin: 12 people and I was the only one with a real penis.
me: Fucking, unbelivable
me: I never notice FTMs here, but I notice MTFs, you can always tell by their hands, if nothing else.
Benjamin: "Johnny" and "Jackson"
Yeah MTF prob stand out more
They were both sort of chubby
me: I want to be an FTM for halloween...and be named "Fido"
Benjamin: Hahah
______________________
me: It's weird because it's like men are forced to be metro here, and like when you talk to them you can tell there is a man wanting to come out, but they've been beaten down and they're all just a bunch of pussies. I blame...the women's lib movement of the seventies and sex and the city.
Benjamin: Hahhahahaha (shhhhh) I totally agree
me: Well, look I'm glad I can vote, and I've seen every episode of SATC thirty times, and loved it. But that doesn't mean there aren't backlashes.
I feel like men don't know how to behave these days.
they're all mixed up.
Benjamin: We totally are
me: yeah...
I want a guy with good hygiene, who is not feminine in his behavior, at all.
I don't want him to cook, I don't want him to have potted plants at home, I don't give a fuck how he dresses as long as it's clean. And I want him to be chill and honest. But loyal...does that go against the very fiber of wanting a manly man?
Benjamin: I'm not sure.
______________________________
Benjamin: Now I understand why my Dad is so tight lipped when it comes to politics
me: My Dad won't get into it either
my mom is clueless.
Benjamin: M____ just asked for some advice about how to handle a situation at work and i told her to think with the penis, not the ovaries.
me: Hahaha
I guess in her case, she has to think with the clitoris.
Benjamin: Yeah
Anyways now I get what my dad was silently saying
Either side sucks
me: right either side does suck
You either have a bunch of pansies, with no dicks.
or you have a bunch of douches with tiny dicks, trying to prove they've got big dicks.
We just need a nice, medium sized dick.
Benjamin: Yes, hahah a nice medium dick LOL.
me: Man, I was just going to draw you a picture of dicks of different sizes, but then I remembered I'm at work.
It would have been funny.
Benjamin: SO funny. I don't know what I would do if I walked by a female coworkers desk and she was drawing dicks.
Me: probably die laughing
Benjamin: I would probably drop to one knee and propose.
___________________________
me: I'm trying to quit smoking.
Benjamin: I didn't make you start smoking don't cast you anger at yourself onto me.
me: If I wasn't a smoker, I wouldn't have met half of the cool people I have, and that's the fuckin' truth everyone knows the cool kids are outside smoking.
me: Well, I'm pretty determined when I make a decision. so, I think I'll be okay. I never wanted to quit before, really, but I've been smoking for long enough, it's served it's purpose and like you said, now it has none. I figure the hard thing will not be to light up while out drinking. will be not to, I always split my infinitives for some reaosn.
Benjamin: I've heard people say that. Maybe don't drink either?
me: Oh, absolutely not
that is not even, no.
I have to drink.
I have been a virtual recluse for the last year.
It is time to drink.
Maybe, if I buy a pack, I'll make Beth take it away from me at the end of the night. yeah
Benjamin: OK OK jeez
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Parental Controls
I was thinking last night and wondering to what extent are we affected by our parents' histories? I don't mean how they fucked us up by making us go to Sunday school every week, or be in marching band, or whatever other inane disciplines and neglect was laid upon us. I mean how connected are we to the course of their own lives and the choices they made that directed them?
You are not your Father. You are not your Mother. You are not obligated to rebel against them or model yourself after them, nor are you doomed to repeat their mishaps. You have the choice to accept who you are. You have the strength to become who you choose. At some point, I think, one has to stop letting the lives of their parents haunt them -- if they do. Not for everyone, but I imagine for many it's true.
You are not your Father. You are not your Mother. You are not obligated to rebel against them or model yourself after them, nor are you doomed to repeat their mishaps. You have the choice to accept who you are. You have the strength to become who you choose. At some point, I think, one has to stop letting the lives of their parents haunt them -- if they do. Not for everyone, but I imagine for many it's true.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Why Disney's Beauty and the Beast is most accurate
Too often in Romantic comedies we're presented with a jaded, independent female lead who is too smart and witty for her own good...until Male lead comes along and falls in love because of her intelligence and hard nosed independence. Alas, this is not how real life plays itself out.
But take the story of Disney's Cartoon musical, Beauty and the Beast: Belle is hot, and it's all her suitors care about, everyone considers her to be a total freak for liking to read books rather than drool over the best looking guy in town who happens to be a complete retard (this turns out to be pretty true to real life). Belle is intelligent enough to see through the retard's phisod and everyone thinks she's all the weirder for not being interested. This stuff actually happens. The townspeople lament Belle's oddity of intellect and resent her all the more for not even trying to fit in. Afterall, ideas come from reading, it doesn't provide well for group think.
But take the story of Disney's Cartoon musical, Beauty and the Beast: Belle is hot, and it's all her suitors care about, everyone considers her to be a total freak for liking to read books rather than drool over the best looking guy in town who happens to be a complete retard (this turns out to be pretty true to real life). Belle is intelligent enough to see through the retard's phisod and everyone thinks she's all the weirder for not being interested. This stuff actually happens. The townspeople lament Belle's oddity of intellect and resent her all the more for not even trying to fit in. Afterall, ideas come from reading, it doesn't provide well for group think.
Belle is relegated to falling in love with a man cursed to be hideously unattractive. Consequently, because he doesn't know her rep and they're removed from the stereotypes that ensconce them she can be her sweet self around him, and he falls in love too.
When Harry Met Sally...uh uh. You've Got Mail, definitely not. If you want a film true to life, pop in Beauty and the Beast.
Monday, July 6, 2009
The Office
Shortly after I got in this morning one of my cube mates excitedly called my name. Since he can't stand his job and is an artist during his off hours who finds himself too good for the menial tasks he's agreed to perform, and doesn't usually talk to coworkers, I was surprised.After I went over to him, he proceeded to show me a large, and hopefully dead cockroach that presumably had crawled out over the weekend into our Monday morning area of full view; it was right in the middle of the entrance to Rob's cubicle.
Word got out quickly on our "team" and the boys called over their friends from various floors and offices to get close, look and take camera phone pictures.
Eventually my boss came by (after the hulabuloo was over) and noticed the thing. He bent down (and maybe this is why he was promoted into middle management and the rest of us have not been), used a piece of paper to scoop it up, and then threw it in the trash can reserved for recycled paper next to the nearest printer.
But not before suggesting that the roach could be Rob himself, transformed, and this is why he would not put it down the toilet.
Later on in the day, another voice excitedly called my name. Kevin Jotted into my cube saying, "Marisa! You know the roach that Gregg put into the trash?"
"Yeah."
"Well, it's not there anymore!"
"So then...it really was Rob."
"No, seriously it isn't there!"
"I don't know Kevin, you're always screwing around, I really don't believe anything you say."
"Come look!"
"All right."
We walk over to the trash. "I'm afraid to look", I say, "What if it's there and it flies up in my face and kills me?"
"Just look."
So, I cautiously take a step closer and slowly look in. It's there and the second I see it Kevin startles me with a little shove that makes me squeal like six-year-old and jump back for dear life.
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