The Last Five Minutes of My Life...

Instead of making those Hamiltons, that stack up so quickly, I've spent the afternoon catching up on music videos that were made to be enjoyed by people who are at least a decade younger than me, and browsing iTunes. I was in the midst of deciding between Ciara or B.o.B when hark, the gchat bing caught my ear.

Dear Fran had written a short letter to Pink Berry detailing her disappointment with our Wednesday evening experience. She needed my help. What could I do? Although it pained me to tear myself away from such a productive and busy afternoon, I spent the last five minutes rewriting her letter.

To Whom it May Concern,

When I first saw an advertisement for your new watermelon flavor I was enthusiastic to try it. Pink Berry is one of my favorite frozen yogurt retailers, and I’ve been a loyal customer for over a year. As you can imagine, I was greatly disappointed to visit two separate locations only to be told the watermelon wasn’t available. I was further discouraged when I found out that your 5- to 7-p.m. happy hour included only one flavor of yogurt. Advertising the availability of a flavor at all locations and not being well stocked in it is an error to the detriment of your business. Leaving out key information in advertisements, such as the limited happy hour flavors, is blatant false advertising. --

Disappointed Customer, Fran Sizemore.

Are You There Go Daddy? It's Me, Marisa

I just bought a website. Well, actually I bought a website building package with some kind of SEO (search engine optimization). I bought the name for the site several months ago, and have been paying $8 per month for it ever since. Now, I will be paying another $8 to maintain it. It's uh, pretty expensive.

Concept: The original post has been deleted. Because I just remembered that in business school I was told not to share my ideas. So, when this site is up and running I will post a link.

Wah wah wah

The title of an article on MSN from Redbook: Is Being Childfree By Choice Selfish?
The subtitle of said article: When a married couple is childfree by choice, it seems there's a lot of explaining to do about why they're not having children. Even in big Hollywood movies like Sex and the City 2.

Reading this title reminded me of a professor I had in college for a short story class. She was an author and had published several books herself, I liked her. One day in class she made a comment that the media is obsessed with celebrity women and their babies. And I was like, "hmm...I think it's more like the media is obsessed with celebrity and they latch on to anything about their lives that they can. These women are having children as a natural course in their lives." It was pretty obvious that being of a certain age she had sorted of perverted the situation to fit her insecurities about not having children.

And it's like, to all you ladies out there who are worried about havin' babies or not havin' babies because of what other people will think. Get over it. If you want them, have them. If you don't, enjoy a blissfully and significantly less stressful life than those who do.

And as a word of caution:
If You Cant Feed Your Baby (Yeah, Yeah)
Then Don't Have A Baby (Yeah, Yeah)
And Don't Think Maybe (Yeah, Yeah)
If You Can't Feed Your Baby (Yeah, Yeah)
You'll Be Always Tryin'To Stop That Child From Cryin'
Hustlin', Stealin', Lyin'
Now Baby's Slowly Dyin'

And finally:
You're A Vegetable,
You're A Vegetable
Still They Hate You,
You're A Vegetable
You're Just A Buffet,
You're A Vegetable
They Eat Off Of You,
You're A Vegetable

I can't post a photo. I google imaged "baby" and was just totally grossed out/disappointed in what I saw, I had to stop looking and try to forget the images.

Shortcaked

This has to do with the culture of NYC and why people who don't live here, or just moved recently, are so very, very out of the loop of understanding. That isn't a judgement, it's just a fact.

When I first moved here people told me that "It takes living in New York for a year, to be prepared to live in New York." Cute, right? I'm not saying my case is typical, but it took me at least two, if not three years to acculturate. I may not be done yet.

Okay, the plain fact is New Yorker's aren't "rude". They aren't without morals, or ethics or values. They just don't have time to give a fuck about other people, except for the few that really make an impression. Many fresh off the boat here (in their first year), find it extremely difficult to wrap their head around this.

But, here's why what I just said makes perfect sense. You have a city of 8 million people. Among those 8 million you have the best and the brightest. The people on top of the food chain, the most beautiful, ivy league educated, ambitious people are here. You have an extremely high level of competition because all of us hanging out in the middle of the food chain see the top and desperately want to be there. And our perverse American ideals tell us it's possible, so you have an ego surge big time. By ego surge I mean you exhibit a certain amount of self-centered behavior.

Next, "the city that never sleeps", actually does. In fact, we probably sleep more than most people in most places. We just happen to stay up later. Because of this businesses don't open until later in the morning, office hours don't really get started until 10, even 11, and if we can manage it, we still leave at 5. Ever heard of "summer Fridays?" That's a business that allows their employees to have a half day, or whole day, off every Friday from Memorial Day to Labor Day. Why? So that people can get an early start on their weekends up state and in the Hamptons. These facts are a big reason why New Yorkers are so "busy" and have to have everything done yesterday. We sleep more, we work less than you and are pretty much always behind schedule. Ever get into work at 10 instead of 8 and for some reason the entire rest of the day is less productive? That's us, every day. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people in New York who work 12 hour days, just not as many as you'd think.

Also a note on transportation. Taxis and trains force commutes to be at least three times as long as driving in one's own car in a sparsley populated area with little traffic. When you're on the train, you're not working.


Finally, "the women come and go, talking of Michelangelo". Because we're social, a community of heavy drinkers and smokers (to mitigate the stress of being so busy), we meet and greet about a billion people everywhere we go. We are constantly forced to interact. And yes, you become jaded. Anyone would when there's a new face around the corner every second. There are endless ways to make friends, meet people and chat about the meaning of it all. If you were fishing in a stream with endless supplies of fish, you'd throw back any that were damaged, and you'd be a hell of a lot pickier with the ones who weren't. This is the reson for ego surge number two. I don't care how awesome people thought you were in your hometown, at some point here you are going to get thrown back. After it happens several times, you don't have the capacity to sympathize with others who are still feeling sorry for themselves, or someone else, about it.

So many people come here with a sunny disposition, so convinced that they're going to change New York to suit their idea of how things should be. They'll be the ones who take it by storm. And it's a culture shock in and of itself when they finally realize, they're not. You adapt, or you leave.


It is beyond frustrating to try and explain to a newbie how it is, only to have them resent you for it. But it's entertaining to see them step in the shit for not taking your advice because that was you once upon a time.

Those of us who stuck it out, those of us who've been thrown back, those of us who love it because of the constant stimulation in spite of its attitude, we just don't have to time to give a fuck about people, but the few who really make an impression. Fact.

As I put it to a good friend today regarding another friend, "I don't have time to deal with your strawberrry shortcake view of the way things should be. I just don't care."

Around Quittin' Time

me: Today I decided that God probably looks like a Panda Bear.

me: And then I thought, "what if I told Ben, who just kind of shrugged it off. And then when he died he found out that God really DOES look like a panda bear. And I was the only one who figured it out. That would be hilarious."

Benjamin: ARE U FUCKING STONED!? LOL

me: No

Benjamin: Hilarious.

That would be the worlds final insult: to find out marisa was right all along.

Where'd u go?

me: I'm here

Second Things Second

So, here is what I was thinking about, and have been thinking about incessantly for the last couple of months. Food. Every kid has their awkward stage. My awkward stage was being chubby. Not fat, per se but chubby. I knew I was chubby as a kid and all through high school. My weight fluctuated throughout my early twenties too. Sometimes I would get on an exercise kick and slim down, but eventually the extra 10, 15, 20 lbs would come back on. I tried to make all kinds of excuses to myself and other people. "I've never had a problem getting men to be attracted to me, so my weight is clearly not a problem." But, what I didn't realize, and really couldn't have known when I was younger, was that I was carrying around insecurities that affected my behavior. It really wasn't about how I looked, but how I felt. What I didn't know was that an extra 10, 15 and 20 lbs was affecting how I really thought about myself, but was in denial of.

I'm not sure exactly how it started. I think it was a combination of influences. Living in New York, yet another failed relationship, being around people who ate healthy...but I very slowly started to make changes to my diet. I started buying fruit and vegetables at the grocery store, and hummus. I started eating soup and yogurt for lunch. It never occurred to me to be on a diet, I just realized that I felt better about myself inwardly after eating a healthy meal. And that it physically felt better to be satisfied rather than stuffed. So, I kept it up.

Over time another unexpected thing occurred. I started to not just like, but LOVE fruits and vegetables. Particularly melons. So sweet and watery and refreshing. Not to sound like a hippie but I couldn't believe how the earth gives us everything we need. I made a promise to myself to eat fruit and vegetables every day. Then it occurred to me that getting filled up on fruits and veggies simply left less room for the unhealthy stuff. And, unlike I had been led to believe by our culture of failed dieters, healthy food was perfectly filling.

I started to choose the "light" options at starbucks and the grocery store. If something came in a light or low-fat variety I bought it instead. I also stopped drinking high calorie alcoholic beverages, rationalizing that it wasn't worth ruining a healthy diet for. Vodka soda...as a friend likes to say a total "rexi drink." I don't care. Because as I became that girl that I used to hate, the one who asked for her dressing on the side...I realized that everyone I'd ever known who made a consistent effort to choose the low cal option was thin. I assumed being that way was snobbery, about being better than other people who chose flavor, and I wasn't a snob, or so shallow. But I'll be damned if eating healthy wasn't actually beneficial. And, PS, cooking something in grease and lard doesn't add flavor, it takes it away, Applebee's. This revelation I can thank New York for. I didn't know what food actually tasted like until I came here.

I grew up with the idea that a "diet" was hard work because it was deprivation, it was living without the things you loved for vanity's sake. And the few times I'd tried to diet, and even lied to myself that I was making changes to my eating for the long haul, it never lasted because of this mentality. Diets are incomprehensibly stupid, but not for the reasons I thought. Eating well is not deprivation, it's freedom.

Little by little I cut out more unhealthy things, like french fries and mayo. But, when I crave a cheeseburger, I have it. When I want chocolate, I grab a handful of M&Ms, because I'm not on a diet and know that I can have M&Ms whenever I want, I don't need to eat the whole bag in one sitting. I can go out with friends to a nice dinner and not worry about dessert, b/c I'm okay with only having a few bites. I have a lifetime to eat dessert.

I started changing my habits because of how it made me feel on the inside, and months later noticed that I was punching new holes in my belts, my staple summer dresses of the last couple of seasons looked like sacks. Have I actually lost weight? I thought. I don't weigh myself--ever. But there was the evidence. My shorts from last summer don't fit, the shorts I loved and felt sexy in. Skirts that used to be tight were loose. Downsizing my calories had downsized my body. And while you're thinking "obviously", I never actually thought that my diet mattered that much. I'd always tried to exercise more to loose weight, and always fell of that wagon too.

Managing your food intake is not unlike managing your finances. If you constantly indulge in expensive items, you'll find that you don't have money left over for the little things or the necessities. A lot of people do this, and don't understand why they're always broke. Just like a lot of people don't understand why they're overweight. But, if you do the opposite, you'll find that when you want to indulge, you can without any negative consequences. Calories add up just like pennies. It's easy to think that a few here or there doesn't really matter, but in the long run, they really do. Slow and steady wins the race.

First Things First

I logged on today--with an idea for a post--for the first time in months and saw that a whole new blog design thing was added with all of these options. Whoa. I was so confused looking at the different potential backgrounds. Should I go with the classy marble sculpture head? Should it be something in the nature category? I always have liked Zebras. Home and garden? No. Stained glass window motif? Too many religious implications. For the time being, I chose books becuase books is good for ya.